December 4, 2020

Ignite Diaries

Igniting Your Passion

Do I belong here?

2 min read
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Dear diary,

I don’t know if I would make friends. I’m not even sure of what I want to do with my life or if this is even the right career path for me. I just feel so lost. I hope I can silence these thoughts long enough to get some rest for my first day on campus.


It felt like I shut my eyes for only five seconds before the blaring vibration of my alarm woke me up. I rolled out from under my blanket and blindly tapped the wall for the lights. I switched them on and got ready for the day. Once I arrived on campus, I strolled around to find my classes. As I walked, I noticed people chuckling under their breath while pointing at me. Others stared at me awkwardly. I didn’t understand the reason behind their staring, and pointing, however, I went on to find my class.


Once I found my first class, I got settled in. Our professor asked us to introduce ourselves. She asked what our major would be, and one thing we looked forward to learning. Once my turn came, I shared, and people chuckled at my thick Nigerian accent. Before I took my seat, one of my classmates asked loudly “what are those” while pointing at my shoes. I looked down, I had sandals on and saw nothing wrong with them, but shortly after, the whole class erupted in laughter. He went further to make fun of my entire outfit. I was the laughing stock of the class. I felt utterly embarrassed. My accent and my outfit caused me to be the laughing stock for the rest of the day. Overall I did not enjoy my first day at all.


If you’re reading this and you feel out of place in college, trust me, I was once there. I was the anime watching, sandal wearing, thick Igbo accent having boy. Pretty much the perfect target for jokes. I knew coming to another country for school would be different, but I never anticipated how hard it would be. However, I got through it without having to change myself.


I want you to know that you should always love yourself. Regardless of who is looking or laughing. Be organically and authentically you. It is better to have one person love you for who you truly are, than several people who love a fake personality you’ve created. I know it’s hard to want to stay true to yourself when people are making fun of you, but it is not impossible. Understand this, there is someone who knows everything about you, and loves every bit of you. This person is the one whose opinion matters the most. He is Jesus Christ, and he loves you morning, noon, and night. If you want to know more about him, leave a comment and we can discuss further. Thank you very much for reading this article.

Anthony Madu

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